


Forget Me Not

by Redamber79



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Car Accidents, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Makeup Sex, Marriage Proposal, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Temporary Amnesia, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:40:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25583005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Redamber79/pseuds/Redamber79
Summary: A tragic accident during an argument leaves Cas with a head injury and amnesia, but Dean is determined to stay by his husband's side, even when the memories that return are painful.Can they move past the memories?
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 28
Kudos: 163





	Forget Me Not

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks JenSpinner for demanding an opening line, and Banshee for betaing!

Cas stared at Dean with a childlike innocence and broke his husband's heart with just a few words: "Do I know you?"

Dean stared at Cas in despair, then dropped his face into his hands, unable to look at the shaved spot where once had been thick dark hair he'd played with. "I'm so sorry, this is all my fault, Cas."

Cas' hand touched his shoulder. Dean whimpered at the strange sensation. Cas touched him like a stranger would, hesitant of his welcome.

"The doctors said it was a car accident. Did you hit my car?"

"No, I was driving... it was raining pretty hard. We got into a fight and I missed a curve in the road." Dean rubbed at his head, his own injuries unfairly mild in comparison. "You hit your head. Pretty bad."

Dean glanced down at Cas' left hand, encased in a cast from the palm to the elbow. The fingers were bruised and swollen from where he'd hit the dash, a thin band of lighter skin where the emergency doctor hand cut off his wedding ring to splint the broken finger. The cut ring was in Dean's pocket, a constant reminder that he'd done this, possibly broken his marriage with the love of his life. A man who might never remember him.

Dean jumped to his feet, breaking Cas' tentative hold on his shoulder, and stumbled from the room. 

_"Why can't you just talk to me?!"_ Cas' words from the night of the accident echoed in his mind, and Dean flinched, practically running down the hall to the elevator. He punched the button furiously, as though he could escape his own memories if only he left the hospital where his husband lay, unremembering.

_"It's not that easy,"_ he had replied, avoiding his husband's gaze. They'd been drifting apart for months, and Dean didn't know how to fix it, but having this conversation now just wasn't gonna cut it. He squinted through the torrential rain, following the road, then flicked his glance back to Cas' face. His gaze was caught for a moment by the tears tracking down Cas' cheeks, the bob of a stubbled throat as Cas swallowed harshly.

_"Are you… is there someone else?"_ The crack in Cas' deep voice had nearly broken his heart, but even as part of him was offended that Cas could ever believe that of him, his mind flung him back further, to his coworker, Michael. Michael had tempted him like no other, and though he'd said no, had assured Cas that he always would say no, he had confessed that temptation to his husband. Those weeks of denial, of theoretically harmless office flirting, had dealt a wound to his marriage even though he'd never followed through on the clear invitation he'd received. 

Michael had been more than willing to pursue an affair and while Dean had entertained the idea briefly, his marriage vows stood in deed. In thought? There his guilt caught up with him.

The doors of the elevator opened and he strode through the building, running from the confused gaze of his husband who didn't recognize him, from his guilt over the accident, from his further shame over the topic of their fight. 

As he burst through the doors and out into the parking lot in front of the hospital, he all but ran into Sam.

"Dean?! What happened, is he worse?" Sam demanded, concerned.

Dean shook his head, clutching at his brother's sleeves for balance. He could scarcely see through the tears that threatened to blind him, and his head throbbed. Sam helped him to a nearby bench.

"He woke up. He has amnesia, Sammy. He doesn't remember me at all," Dean explained, forcing the words out past the lump in his throat. 

Sam's face was full of sympathy and he pulled Dean in for a hug he was far too vulnerable to deny. A tear fell despite his best efforts, one followed by another. His moose of a brother patted his back far too earnestly, understanding that Dean couldn't speak at the moment. 

"Mr. Winchester?" Dean and Sam whirled at the voice, a young nurse with long blond curls watching them with far more empathy on her face than Dean felt he deserved. But still, he stepped forward. 

"That's me," he muttered, clearing his throat and trying to wipe at his eyes surreptitiously.

"Castiel, your husband, that is, is asking for you," she explained. 

"Does he remember me? Or did someone tell him?" Dean asked, unable to help himself. Even if Cas just remembered the fight, the angry, bitter denial, anything would be better than the last three years being forgotten.

"Neither, unfortunately. But he knows you mean something to him, and is asking for you to come back. He's distraught."

"So am I, lady," Dean snarled, only to have Sam smack his arm. He glanced over at his brother, an insult on his lips, and found the moose staring at the nurse, a dumbfounded look on his face. 

"Thanks, Jess. It _is_ Jessica, right?" Sam asked, a blush staining his cheeks, and if Dean were less upset about Cas, he might have been gleeful about the fodder for future teasing.

Dimples appeared on the pretty blond's cheeks as she smiled up at Sam. "Hiya Sam. Long time no see," she said softly.

Shaking his head, Dean brushed past her and headed back into the hospital. Cas might not know who he was, but he'd asked for him. And Dean had sworn to always be there. For better or for worse.

****

This was worse.

Dean took a deep breath, straightened his back with a wince for his sore ribs, and opened the door to Cas' room.

The doctor stood next to Cas' bed, talking to him quietly, and Dean stopped, feeling like he was intruding. At the same time though, this was his husband. He stepped closer, clearing his throat.

"--could take weeks, or months," Dr. Moseley was explaining gently, and Dean felt each word like a blow. 

"Doc?" He swallowed. "You're saying he might not regain his memory for months?"

"It's a possibility, but as the swelling goes down, it may come back sooner." Her eyes flitted to Dean and he sensed she wasn't telling them everything. 

"What else, Doc?" he demanded, pressing for an answer.

"This kind of injury generally results in only temporary amnesia. But a possibility exists that this could be permanent."

Cas made a low, distressed sound, and Dean stepped forward and took his hand without thinking. "I'll be here. I'll always be here, Babe." Wide blue eyes stared at him, tears welling and spilling over, and Dean brushed them away gently. "Cas, you aren't alone."

"I--I know." Cas' uninjured hand clutched at his. 

"Do you remember me at all, Cas?" Dean couldn't stop the question from tripping over his lips, then waved it away a moment later, looking away rather than continue to meet that stranger's gaze from his husband's face.

"Your eyes," Cas blurted. "I feel like I've seen them…" He blushed then, and Dean ducked his head to hide a smile. Lifting his head again, he moved them to safer territory.

"Do you remember your job?"

"I'm a florist, of course." Cas gave a big gummy smile, then winced as the stitches over one eye pulled. Dean's heart ached, and he touched Cas's cheek lightly without thinking. That startled look crossed Cas' familiar features again, and Dean drew back.

"Sorry. I… Christ, I haven't even told you who I am." He glanced at Dr. Moseley, and she gestured at him to continue. "I'm Dean Winchester. I'm… I'm your husband."

Cas' eyes looked startled again, but a shy smile curved his lips, a faint blush staining his cheeks.

"Apparently I've got good taste," Cas murmured softly, and Dean let out a relieved laugh, Cas' sense of humour was intact at least. "Winchester… Winchester's Garden! That's my flower shop!" Cas squeezed his hand in excitement and Dean stroked a gentle thumb over his knuckles.

"That's right, sweetheart." Dean felt a tear slip down his cheek and he wiped it away hurriedly.

Dr. Moseley excused herself with a reminder to use the call button if Cas needed anything. Dean watched her go and then turned back to his husband, hoping to keep the thread of memory going.

A few days later, Dean picked up Cas in a rental, and Cas frowned as he slid into the car. "This isn't right…"

"Baby's in the shop."

Cas frowned. "A black car. A classic. That's what you were driving when…. When we crashed?" Dean felt a rush of shame and steered towards a gentler memory.

"Cas, you remember the flower shop, what's your favourite flower?" he asked.

Cas met his eyes and Dean saw a spark of _something…_ it gave him hope.

"Forget-me-nots…" Cas whispered and Dean felt his heart lighten. He'd given those to Cas on their first date. 

And again when he'd proposed.

He watched as Cas' brow furrowed, then his face tightened in distress. Tension ran through his body. Then Cas spoke a name that Dean wished he'd never uttered. 

"Michael…" Cas whispered and his eyes filled with tears of anger as he looked at Dean.

"Cas, you remember? What else?"

"Everything about our fight."

"I swear to you, on everything I love, that I have never, and will never cheat on you. I don't know what god saved us in that crash, but I'm taking this as a second chance, and I'm going to prove to you that I love you more than anything."

"But you wanted to be with him, how can I just forget _that?"_ Tears trickled down his cheeks, and Dean longed to brush them away, but Cas jerked his headaway angrily and wiped his hand over his face. "I wish you'd never told me, because I can never get it out of my head. Why aren't I enough, Dean?"

Dean drove them home carefully, thinking of how to respond. Finally, he pulled into the driveway and turned to face his husband.

"You're everything. You're more than I deserve. I told you that when I proposed. But I asked anyway, because I never want to live a day of my life without you."

"Will… Will you go to couples' therapy with me?" Cas' voice had dropped to an uncertain whisper, afraid of Dean's answer.

Dean hesitated. He hated chick-flick moments and he figured therapy would be full of them. He glanced at his husband, saw his face closing off the way it had through so many fights in the last few months. This was the problem. He was so afraid of sharing his feelings that he'd shut Cas out.

"For you, I will. I don't know that it'll help, but I'll try for you."

Cas' eyes welled over, but a tremulous smile appeared on his lips even as tears slipped down his cheeks. 

"For me?" Cas asked softly, reaching out slowly and taking Dean's hand.

"For us. I don't tell you enough, but I love you. More than anything."

"I love you, too."

*****

It was six months before Cas' memories came back in full, and longer before the headaches faded completely. Dean joined Cas in couples therapy every two weeks, and by late summer things were going well. They'd spoken about the issues that had disrupted the communication between them. Cas learned to talk to his insecurity about Dean's faithfulness without being accusatory. With their therapist's help, an insightful woman named Pamela, Cas finally came to terms that physical attraction could happen without infidelity. Dean learned to talk about his emotions, sharing when work was running him down and when he needed more affection. 

At first, Cas stayed in the guest room, his missing memories making life difficult to pick up their marriage where it had left off. As his memories returned, Dean started courting his Husband again, taking him out on dates and trading soft kisses. Eventually they shared a bedroom again, but still they did no more than cuddle.

One day late in August, Cas arrived home to find Dean in the hall, down on one knee as he opened the door. "Dean?"

"Cas, will you marry me, again?" He held up Cas' ring, carefully repaired at a local jewellers' and a small bouquet of forget-me-nots. "I want to renew my vows to you."

Cas pulled him up into his arms and kissed him softly.

"I love you, Dean," he whispered. "Yes. A thousand times, yes."

They kissed slowly, tenderly, and Cas pushed Dean gently down the hall to their bedroom. Tugging at Dean's clothes, he pushed him over on the bed and eyed him hungrily. 

Dean whimpered, desperate for his husband's touch. They'd been sharing a bed for several months now, but it had been long months before the accident since they'd last been intimate. But the way Cas was devouring him with his eyes was making his pulse pound.

Cas's lips found his again as he crawled up on the bed and Dean sighed, surrendering completely. They stripped each other reverently, their lips trailing kisses across shoulders and down spines, until both men were trembling with need. Cas began to roll to his stomach when Dean stopped him. 

"Cas, I need you…" he pleaded, his cheeks burning with embarrassment, but he'd learned a fair bit from therapy, and asking for what he wanted was part of it. They didn't switch often, so it had been nearly nine months since he'd last bottomed, and right now he was desperate. 

Cas' eyes darkened with lust, and he captured Dean's lips intently. Their tongues fenced for long moments, then Dean broke the kiss to beg. 

"Please, sweetheart. Need to feel you."

Cas gave a low chuckle that was almost a growl and pinned him to the bed. "Oh you will. Every inch of me." 

Dean whined, pressing up against Cas' strength. Cas dropped his hips against Dean's and Dean melted, gasping as Cas ground against him. Dean kissed his way over a stubbled throat and jaw, the rasp against his lips familiar and enticing.

"Caaaaaas," he breathed, and Cas groaned above him, stretching to reach Dean's side of the bed. "Sweetheart, make love to me."

Cas dropped the lube next to them on the bed and Dean pulled him in for a desperate, passionate kiss. They made out frantically, their bodies sliding against each other until they were panting, and Dean was wrapping his legs around Cas's waist, rutting up against him. Cas groaned again as his cock drove against Dean, and he let go of Dean's wrist to fumble for the lube. Coating his fingers, he kissed his way down Dean's chest and stomach, nipping at his skin. Dean moaned, shivering under his husband's touch, then crying out as Cas' fingers trailed down to toy at his hole. 

Dean bucked his hips, desperately driving his ass down against Cas' hand, whining and writhing until Cas gave another low chuckle and drove a finger unresisting into his body. 

"You prepped already? That sure of me?" Cas teased. 

Dean groaned as his husband and lover twisted his finger and ran it expertly over his prostate. "A desperate hope, that's all."

Cas pressed a second finger into him, teasing and playing along his nerves like a fine instrument, until Dean was begging for more. Finally Cas pulled his fingers free and lined up, looming over Dean. 

"Ready, baby?"

_"Please!"_ Dean pleaded, and Cas pressed into him slowly. Dean ran his hands down Cas' back and whimpered, kissing him softly. Cas rocked his hips slowly, slowly, and Dean moaned for him, shaking as Cas sank deeper into his body, until he was bent nearly in half.

"Oh, God, Dean!" Cas groaned, his voice raspy and thick with emotion. He pulled back slowly and Dean trembled, afraid this connection was just in his wishful mind. Cas kissed him softly then, nuzzling at his jaw, and Dean melted into the mattress. "I love you, baby."

"Love you, too, sweetheart!"

Dean rocked his hips up to meet Cas' slowly strengthening thrusts, a flush of heat spreading over his cheeks as Cas sped up.

"Need you!" he moaned, and Cas bent to capture his lips again.

"You've got me," Cas promised. "Always."

Dean found himself suddenly trembling on the edge of tears, thinking back all those months to the horrible accident that had nearly cost him the love of his life. As his mind ventured further, to the neglect of their relationship that had nearly done the same, his tears spilled over.

"I love you, Cas. Only you."

Cas buried his face against Dean's throat, nipping at the sensitive skin and groaning as his hips postponed harder. 

"You're mine, Dean. Mine!"

"Only yours, oh fuck, sweetheart!"

Cas growled, driving in and out of Dean's body, canting his hips just so until Dean was whining and crying out with every thrust. 

"Uh uh _uh! CAS!"_ he shouted, clutching at Cas' shoulders desperately, his blunt nails catching at the sleek muscle until Cas bent and bit sharply at his shoulder. Dean shuddered under the rough bite, his body seizing and spilling over. Cas continued to pound into him as sensitivity made him writhe, until finally Cas froze, the tendons on his throat standing out as he filled Dean's body.

"Oh, God, Dean…" Cas collapsed against him and kissed his way over Dean's jaw and down to his lips. 

He cupped Dean's cheek gently, and Dean felt the familiar press of Cas' ring against his skin for the first time since the accident. 

"Always yours."

**Author's Note:**

> Love Destiel? Join us on Discord's [ server for like-minded chats, friendly people, and inspiration for reading and writing!](https://discord.gg/rUFErcY)


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